I felt violated by just a stare
Just a look in his eyes made me aware
That he only cared
That I was a black woman
Who existed to mould his latest fantasy
His great desire to taste this exotic fruit he longed for
But lacked access to until I crossed the shore
It wasn’t just him
It was them
A whole tribe of them
Watching my every move
‘Ciao bella-ing' me like it was a key to unlock my staunch demeanour
A demeanour I developed because I was scared
I was scared of being too friendly and open
Or else it would be assumed I was truly open - for business that is
Why did it suddenly feel so hard?
To live in this place I thought I loved
But seemed to not love me back
Or rather - love me in a way that felt like way more than a pat on my back
A place that invaded and penetrated when my no truly meant no
A nakedness I can never fully describe
I felt exposed
And all I wanted to do was hide
Who knew a stare alone could hold so much power
Could make me cower in shame
Afraid to be awake and alive in this city I wanted so desperately to call ‘home’
But felt like a fishbowl, an invasion of privacy
A place to be looked at but never really be seen
I was the poster on their walls, their fantasy
The unicorn they had been waiting for
A walking magazine
But please turn the page
Mark it as ‘seen.’
LET'S BE FRANK 